Playing from the "Innards"

"If a musician plays from his innards, even though what comes out at
first seems chaotic, an esthetic order will eventually appear."

--Cecil Taylor, jazz pianist & composer

I've been thinking a lot about this statement lately. Not only thinking
about it, but trying to experience it, to see if it's true. As a jazz
pianist, I strive for inventiveness, not just technical virtuosity. But
I haven't really been able to find my musical "voice"; I haven't yet
found my "sound."

So, I'm trying to tap into what Taylor calls my "innards." I've been
experimenting with free asociation in music. As some know, free
association is a psychotherapeutic technique used to dredge up the
hidden contents of the unconscious. Taylor claims that he developed his
musical voice through an intense search within the shadow-side of
himself. Tori Amos has also made similar remarks. She has said that
composing music is like "transcribing a language from the beyond." Both
Amos and Taylor have said that psychotherapy has enhanced their musical
abilities.

At any rate, this is what I'm searching for. I'm hoping that by
contacting my "innards" - the deep reservoir of unconscious contents - a
sound will emerge.